This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score:
The value of a country’s exports may vary in various categories in different years. Usually, the percentage of changes of exports earning will differ by year and category. Here is some information about a country’s exports earning based on the year 2015 and 2016.
First, I will start with the country’s most money-making export which is petroleum products. By the year 2016, the country gained 3% more in the category than the year 2015. However, for gems and jewellery, the percentage of the export earning decreased by 5.18% by the year 2016.
Next, engineered goods earnings also follow the foot steps of petroleum product earnings by gaining more than 8% on 2016 than 2015. The value increases from more than 50 billions to more than 60 billions in just a year. This statistic also conclude that the engineers in the country have gained more by the year 2016
Besides that, agricultural products and textiles also earned more with 0.81% and 15.24% respectively. Even though, agricultural products does not gain more than 1%, it stills conclude that the products are still wanted by many people as it earned about more than 30 billions for both years.
While for textures, it is seen that it gains it popularity in the year 2016. This is proved, when the statistic states that the earning was increased by more than 15.24% in the year 2016 based on the year 2015. Textiles products earned about more than 25 billions in 2015 and earned more than 30 billions in the next year.
In conclusion, we can see that this country has overall succeed in the year 2016 than the year 2015. The country managed to gain about more than 22% in the year 2016. Even though gems and jewellery had a decreasing of earnings by 5.18%, it is still the third money-making export product from the country.
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The response covers all the key features and presents an overview in the final paragraph. However, the rating could be improved by providing data in$ billions for earnings for each product (not just engineered goods and textiles). One of the comments is debatable [This statistic also conclude that the engineers in the country have gained more by the year 2016]. Organisation follows the order of the bar chart, providing an overall progression, and there is some use of cohesive devices to signal a change of topic. The vocabulary used provides some variety of expression [differ I gained I decreased], even if it is not always appropriate [moneymaking I profitable I textures I textiles]. Errors occur [earning(s) I foot step I footstep I stills], but the intended meaning is clear. The candidate uses both simple and complex sentence forms, but better control of both grammar and punctuation might result in a higher rating here.
“Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.”
Some people consider that the loss of individual species of plants and animals is the main environmental problem of our time. Attempts to preserve rare or dying species are carried out in zoos or other specialist plant and animal facilities, through breeding programmes, preservation orders and other forms of protection and there was genuine sadness among many when the last surviving white rhino died earlier this year.
Survival of the fittest is nature’s way of ruthlessly allowing weaker specimens to die out, although mankind has also contributed to falling animal numbers through hunting and poaching. However, whether saving individual species should be the main focus of environmental protection is debatable. Climate change and excessive use of plastic are just two other major problems that deserve our attention.
The evidence of climate change is there for us all to see: rising sea levels and associated flooding with the loss of homes at low land levels are becoming more frequent. Many countries and island communities are now calling for urgent action to delay, halt or even reverse the process, although if we believe the experts, reversal is impossible. Habitable areas are gradually shrinking, often for some of the poorest groups of people, but there seems to be little obvious action taking place. If the major contributors to climate change will not support the reduction of greenhouse gases, there is little hope for the future.
Naturalists have also begun to expose the serious problems arising from discarded plastic waste. Birds and animals can die gruesome deaths through being trapped or caught up in plastic bags or ropes, while the long process required for these plastics to decay means that they remain a threat for many years to come. Worse, there is now beginning to be evidence of sea creatures ingesting smaller globules of disintegrating plastic, which harms them and all the other creatures in their particular food chain.
The loss of particular species, both flora and fauna, is cause for regret, but I do not agree that they are the most important environmental problems these days. If climate change and damage from plastic continue, there will be less land and less food for everyone, including plants and animals.
This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.