“A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum.”
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.0 score.
Dear Sir or Madam
I saw an advert that said that people that want to do voluntary at this museum should contact you. That’s why I am writing this letter!
I would like to do voluntary work at your museum. I am keen on art and history, and especially I am keen on working with them. From what I kow, your museum is based on works of art that have fabulous history.
In the museum I could work as a guide. I already know some interesting information about the drawings that you have in the museum, but if there is something that I don’t know or something that needs improvement, I am opened to studying and developing my knowledge.
I really like working with other people and explaining things that they are interested in, and that is a good skill I guess for guiding.
I am free every Monday, Friday and Sunday from 3PM to 7PM.
I am waiting for your reply and I hope that you agree with my voluntary work
Here is the examiner’s comment:
The writer has made a fair attempt at the task, covering all three bullet points, with the second bullet point covered in more depth than the first and the third Organisation is logical and there is a clear overall progression, slightly spoiled by the lack of a closing formula (Yours faithfully). The range of vocabulary is sufficient for the task (advert | contact you keen on work as a guide drawings studying and developing my knowledge working with other people) and there are only minor errors [kow/know opened / open] There is a mix of simple and complex structures, generally used accurately, although there is a minor error in the lack of an article [have (a) fabulous history). The score could be improved by expanding on the first and third bullet points and by using a wider range of grammatical structures.
Dear madam/sir,
Recently, I got to know that you had been looking for people who’d like to volunteer at a museum and that those interested should contact you. I thought it would be a perfect chance to avail this oppurtunity.
Before getting in to the depth of why I want to volunteer for this I’d like to tell you about my interest in history. It has been one of the most engrossing subjects to me and all my life I’ve been captivated by the beauty of historic institutes one of which is museum.
Also I’d like to share my knowledge and information about most of the historic paintings, figurines, artefacts etc with visitors and to be honest it seems to me the best way to increase my knowledge.
Talking about my own skills, I guess knowledge and interest is the key to gain capabilities so I definitely have the potential. I am very observant and have keen interest in ancient particulars. History has never failed to fascinate or engage my thoughts.
I am available every weekend from 4: 00p.m to 7: 00p.m.
I am eager to hear from you and I hope I succeeded to convince you with my voluntary skills.
Warm Regards,
Arfa